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Personal Power
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Personal Power Through Self Knowledge
by: Steve Gillman
Personal power comes not just from money or position. It
isn't just about how much you can affect the people and
things around you. It starts and ends with how much you
learn about yourself. It isn't about a narcissistic self
knowledge, but a deeper understanding of how your body and
brain functions.
You can more effectively use a computer when you know how it
works. In the same way, you can more effectively use your
own brain, body, and other tools when you understand them
better. Our big stumbling block to learning more about
ourselves, however is our tendency to rationalize. Do you
think you know why you do what you do? Consider the
following true story.
Jack was hypnotized by his therapist. During the trance
state, he was given the post-hypnotic instruction to get up
and put on his coat whenever the doctor touched his nose.
Later, once out of the trance, Jack and the doctor talked.
At some point during the conversation, the doctor scratched
his nose, and Jack immediately stood up and put on his coat.
The doctor asked him why, and Jack said "Oh, I thought we
were finished," and he took off the coat. Later, the doctor
touched his nose again, and Jack immediately stood up and
put on his coat. "It's getting cold in here," he explained,
more to himself than to the doctor. By the third time this
happened, it was getting more difficult for Jack to explain
his behavior, yet he still tried to.
This scenario is not really unique to hypnosis. We often
just assume we know what goes into our decisions and
actions. Just like poor Jack, we feel compelled to explain
ourselves, and even to believe our own explanations. This
isn't self knowledge, but self explanation, or
rationalization. It is one the most common of human habits.
It also prevents the full development of our personal power.
Self Knowledge Or Self Explanation?
How does this habit of rationalization begin? Think back to
childhood. Suppose you threw a book at your brother, and
your mother asked "Why did you do that!?" What would your
likely response be? "I don't know." This would be the truth,
of course, but also entirely unacceptable.
Aren't children expected to have a better "explanation?" The
best psychologists may not understand a child's action with
certainty, yet a five-year-old is expected to do just that -
and in the next five seconds! He may not understand, but he
learns quickly how to explain himself.
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This pressure to explain makes it understandable
why by adulthood, we rarely say "I don't know" when asked
about our behavior. We simply create an explanation. Isn't
this a potential problem if we want true self knowledge? How
easily can we learn the true causes of our behavior if we
already have our explanations?
Say I Don't Know
A better approach? Say "I don't know." It may help to follow
this with "Maybe it's because of..." and let the
explanations spill out, but don't be too quick to accept any
of them. It really isn't always necessary to explain.
Suppose you are avoiding a certain person. If you really
don't know why you are avoiding him, isn't it better to
leave the question open than to accept a false explanation
based on a habit of self-justification and rationalization?
Leave questions unanswered, and you may someday have a
better understanding. A quick answer may mean a quick stop
in your thinking, and less self knowledge. Waiting and
watching for more evidence may tell you something useful
about yourself.
Start saying, "I don't know" more often. Isn't it better to
learn to accept your ignorance, and then keep observing
yourself? Don't let self-explanation get in the way of of
self knowledge. Learning more rather than explaining more is
the path to personal power.
About The Author
Steve Gillman has been studying brainpower and related
topics for years. For more on How To Increase Brain Power,
and to get the Brain Power Newsletter and other free gifts,
visit:
http://www.IncreaseBrainPower.com
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